Thursday, May 1, 2008

Sum of fears..so i think

I have been contemplating on whether to write about this topic for a few days now. I am a little skeptic about the idea of opening up to the cyberworld about my real identity - as a super hero. Ha! gotcha!
Seriously, I wanted to write something about fear. My fears. But my fear of fear kinda gets in the way of me writing about it sooner. But then, what the heck, let's give it a shot, shall we? BANG! BANG!
Since I was small, not that I really grew tall, but when I was still young, sheesh, that should be the word eh?...I have fear of some things, creatures here and there. For one, I have a fear of monkeys. There I said it. I think it started when my cousin's grandma has this pet monkey and it got loose and went to see my baby sister (I was around 4 or 5 ) and unfortunately, I was a bit slow so the monkey got me and harassed me! Ha! My aunt later told me that I was lucky the monkey didn't snag my eye and put it in his mouth or juggled it and tossed it around! (okay, that was a bit too much - that's my own words already). It's not that bad really this fear of monkey, I am just squimish being around them. Although, I don't mind the little monkeys where I work to be around me.
Then back in college, I read this book about fears and phobias, and before I knew it, I had developed a fear of closed spaces - claustrophobia! Okay, I know how it started. Each morning when I ride the bus to school, I would be reading this book and once in awhile glance at the people or my surroundings -otherwise I would miss my stop. And while reading on the topic of claustrophobia, I glanced and saw a lot of people standing inside the bus - like, where did they all come from? And the book was describing that even in a crowd you can feel claustrophobic - Yay!!! get me outta here! I started panicking...sweating, cramps...oh my, and there I was finding myself being claustrophobic among crowds. It's been okay for years now. No worries. I pretty much have it under control I think. Just that I get a little claustrophobic when I think of how being a claustrophobic is!
Then recently, I got this tiny wee bit fear of mushrooms. Yes, those mushrooms that you put in your stir fry or bake with or even grill. Those mushrooms. I don't know where it came from - my mushroomaphobia (okay, it's a made up name - blame me). But all I know is that I feel a little anxiety whenever I have to cut a mushroom - like there'll be a dwarf that would come out from behind the mushroom and tell me ' yee beeta cot dis gud, eh' - whatever! But no worries, I try to overcome this fear and eliminate it as soon as I can. Goodness! I cook with mushrooms and they taste really good!
So there, I made myself vulnerable to the public eye. Judge me if you feel like it. But I know you have your own set of fears too. And I will know 'em sooner or later. Hehehe...

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