I tried to have just a peaceful weekend but for some reason, something, oh something just has to rock my boat even a little.
Let's start with Saturday. At around 11 in the morning we heard a loud knock on the door. When I opened, a shirtless black man with a very defensive aura appeared before me, saying, "yu klaushkkdl idslkmnkxoelsjkflaf" Okay. I am not kidding. That's how I heard it. And I go, "what??" So he spoke slowly and with a softer tone this time, "you do so much stompin' on the floor". I was tempted to answer him with "are you high on somethin'??, nobody is doing no stomping here!" but of course, I knew he was ready to just start an argument, so I said, "oh, so-rry" then closed the door. His reaction? He said, "ok" then shrugged his shoulders and went away. Ha! Asshole!
How on earth can I do some stompin' when I am sitting in front of my puter most of the time that morning? Unless, stompin' is the new walking. Sue called the building super and told him what this idiot told us. He said, I shouldn't have apologized for "walking" in our own apartment. Most likely, this guy is so high that everything that he hears is magnified a thousand times. Besides, they have been evicted from their apartment and should be out of the building by Tuesday.
Sunday. I woke up early and did some chores. And assessed myself if I am up to going to museums. Since it's a free museum day! But of course, I would also have to think of Sue, how she feels and if she is up to walking a lot of mileage inside different museums. But then again, what about just baking some chocolate muffins or better yet - nutella muffins!!...well, yah, so I suspect you already know what I chose. It's not hard to choose really...museum or muffins? Both starts with M silly! how hard can that be?
Anywho, another weekend passed. Another blog written. And what d'ya know! It's another work week! Wooohooo!!!!.. I'm so ecstatic. Not.
Go on, get back to work.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Song for Mai
I know, I know I like the songs of Natasha Bedingfield (and Colbie, Alicia, Duffy, among others) But this song is rather true. Come to think of it.
And it goes for the one I care so much about lately. Things will be alright, Mai.
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
And it goes for the one I care so much about lately. Things will be alright, Mai.
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Stupid Gurl
I don't know what came over me and I end up screwing my puter of 6 weeks! Can you believe that?! Didn't even take me 6 months but 6 weeks to f**k things up.
Okay the story goes, I was in bed watching Criminal Minds and having a sip. And decided to play around my puter and thought that maybe I should do some dusting here and there...by dusting I mean doing a disc cleanup, running the registry and the antivirus programs. And before you know it, I began clicking stuff which I should have just left by their lonesome. But NO! I've decided to take that risk and click that small tiny button. Yay! Who's crying now, eh??? Huh?!
To be honest I am not a puter program savvy, nor am I the bios type. I am just one who likes to surf, cut and paste, write in and out, click here and there type of girl. So, when all my icons on my desktop disappeared before my eyes, I started panicking! Help! And I rebooted! Smart eh..yeah, so smart I lost all my documents and pictures...NICE...
I tried tweaking here and there and when I finally started getting a headache I knew it was time to stop and accept the fact that it's gone. All is gone. Some smart risk taker. Tsk tsk.
But hey, there's always a solution to every problem right? Granting you know where to look and you know what the hell you are looking for.
And then again, I don't cry over spilt milk. Much more over some lost files...specially if I am the one to blame! Ha!
Okay the story goes, I was in bed watching Criminal Minds and having a sip. And decided to play around my puter and thought that maybe I should do some dusting here and there...by dusting I mean doing a disc cleanup, running the registry and the antivirus programs. And before you know it, I began clicking stuff which I should have just left by their lonesome. But NO! I've decided to take that risk and click that small tiny button. Yay! Who's crying now, eh??? Huh?!
To be honest I am not a puter program savvy, nor am I the bios type. I am just one who likes to surf, cut and paste, write in and out, click here and there type of girl. So, when all my icons on my desktop disappeared before my eyes, I started panicking! Help! And I rebooted! Smart eh..yeah, so smart I lost all my documents and pictures...NICE...
I tried tweaking here and there and when I finally started getting a headache I knew it was time to stop and accept the fact that it's gone. All is gone. Some smart risk taker. Tsk tsk.
But hey, there's always a solution to every problem right? Granting you know where to look and you know what the hell you are looking for.
And then again, I don't cry over spilt milk. Much more over some lost files...specially if I am the one to blame! Ha!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Dance the Night Away!
I know, I know, I posted this one last nite, then decided to remove it and place it on a playlist. But now, I decided - whew- to put it back! Aren't you glad you're not me?!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Long Weekend Song...that's more like it..
It's gonna be a long weekend...not camping weather yet...so just sit back and relax and enjoy...ahh fresh polluted air of the city...Ha!
Fortune Telling
I had a job interview yesterday and for the love of me, I was asked the most overused, adulterated, misconstrued, trickiest and over enunciated question - "How do you see yourself in 5 years?"
I remember when I was first asked with that question - hey, it was also in a job interview! And that was many years ago! They start asking you that question the minute you apply for your first job - your potential master (coz you are a potential slave) , wants to find out if:
a. you can foretell the future,
b. you can be manipulated in the next 5 years,
c. you can be a nuisance and a good cover up for how the company is failing in the next couple of years without you suspecting that they hired you so they can cover their asses to the higher ups,
d. they just don't know what to ask you and they still have a couple of minutes to spare before breaktime.
It's a trick question actually. You answer with whole honesty, like what you really intend to do in the next five years of your life (granting you are still alive and well) and voila! forget about getting the job you are applying for. Or you try to impress your interviewers with a much-thought-carefully-planned answer and hell no! you'd be bombarded with more questions that you find yourself squinting, fidgetting, and trying to cram the answer file folder at the back of your head and voila! (again), you leave the room, trying to figure out what went wrong with your well rehearsed answer to that elusive question of all time. Tsk. tsk.
So, you might be wondering how did I answer that question. Well, lucky for me, I already have the premonition that whatever and however I answer that question, it will not affect my standing in getting the job (or in this case, NOT getting the job)
When the interviewer asked me, "how do you see yourself in five years?" I go, "ah, in five years? let me see, (sigh) in five years i will be 40!" Haha! What the hell are you asking me? How would I know if I am still alive in five years! If I tell you that I see myself in your chair, would you still hire me? Guess not! 'Coz obviously, you are not about to give up that chair for me after five years of sitting on it - and there's just no way I'd sit on it after five years of me standing here in front of you. Geez woman!
I have been asked that question for the nth time throughout my lifetime and believe me, none of my answers came close to how I've seen myself in the next five years. So, please, just ask me what I had for breakfast or what I am planning to have for lunch. Then I could give you a clear honest to goodness answer. And maybe we could even have dinner.
I remember when I was first asked with that question - hey, it was also in a job interview! And that was many years ago! They start asking you that question the minute you apply for your first job - your potential master (coz you are a potential slave) , wants to find out if:
a. you can foretell the future,
b. you can be manipulated in the next 5 years,
c. you can be a nuisance and a good cover up for how the company is failing in the next couple of years without you suspecting that they hired you so they can cover their asses to the higher ups,
d. they just don't know what to ask you and they still have a couple of minutes to spare before breaktime.
It's a trick question actually. You answer with whole honesty, like what you really intend to do in the next five years of your life (granting you are still alive and well) and voila! forget about getting the job you are applying for. Or you try to impress your interviewers with a much-thought-carefully-planned answer and hell no! you'd be bombarded with more questions that you find yourself squinting, fidgetting, and trying to cram the answer file folder at the back of your head and voila! (again), you leave the room, trying to figure out what went wrong with your well rehearsed answer to that elusive question of all time. Tsk. tsk.
So, you might be wondering how did I answer that question. Well, lucky for me, I already have the premonition that whatever and however I answer that question, it will not affect my standing in getting the job (or in this case, NOT getting the job)
When the interviewer asked me, "how do you see yourself in five years?" I go, "ah, in five years? let me see, (sigh) in five years i will be 40!" Haha! What the hell are you asking me? How would I know if I am still alive in five years! If I tell you that I see myself in your chair, would you still hire me? Guess not! 'Coz obviously, you are not about to give up that chair for me after five years of sitting on it - and there's just no way I'd sit on it after five years of me standing here in front of you. Geez woman!
I have been asked that question for the nth time throughout my lifetime and believe me, none of my answers came close to how I've seen myself in the next five years. So, please, just ask me what I had for breakfast or what I am planning to have for lunch. Then I could give you a clear honest to goodness answer. And maybe we could even have dinner.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Back to My First Love
Nutella. For awhile now, I try to ignore the calling. I think I even had some withdrawal symptoms by doing that. I would have boiled eggs for breakfast - completely no nutella in sight (yes, I kept the jar in the cupboard so I won't see it and it won't see me). And somedays I'd have just an apple, or just the orange juice.
When I come home from work, instead of grabbing a slice of bread and spreading some looooove, I head for the chips or some rice cake to snack on while waiting for lunch to cook.
And today, I got sad. I miss my nutella. I tried not thinking about it but it's raining outside today and the loaf of bread was calling me - 'toast me! toast me!'. And what goes good with a toasted bread in the morning? My nutella! Why, did you just said butter? Shame. Shame. Shame.
So, I grabbed the nutella from hiding. Rescued it from the dark. From being alone with all the other prisoner cans and jars.
Hey, did you notice I'm getting nuts? I have to stop this. Not the nutella mania, silly. This blog. Right now. Bye.
When I come home from work, instead of grabbing a slice of bread and spreading some looooove, I head for the chips or some rice cake to snack on while waiting for lunch to cook.
And today, I got sad. I miss my nutella. I tried not thinking about it but it's raining outside today and the loaf of bread was calling me - 'toast me! toast me!'. And what goes good with a toasted bread in the morning? My nutella! Why, did you just said butter? Shame. Shame. Shame.
So, I grabbed the nutella from hiding. Rescued it from the dark. From being alone with all the other prisoner cans and jars.
Hey, did you notice I'm getting nuts? I have to stop this. Not the nutella mania, silly. This blog. Right now. Bye.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Stinky Mo'ryal
Yesterday, while walking to work, you just can't help smelling the breeze touching your cheeks, blowing your hair...eeeow! Montreal was stinky! Smells of dog poo. Yep, you read it right, I smelt it as soon as I stepped out of my apartment building. I thought, it was just because somebody must have probably left their dog poo on the front lawn of the building, but when I start walking, and even crossed the street - Man, oh man!..the city stinks!
And the other night, I couldn't put myself to sleep because some farm smell came to the city and invaded our apartment (we leave our windows open these days - for fresh polluted air to flow in). I had a tough time going to sleep.
Yeah I know, my olfactory sense is very sensitive these days. Signs of aging I guess. Ha!
But really now, why does this lovely city of Mo'real stinks of dog poo? Well, right now, I couldn't quite smell what's in store for today..but still, yesterday was really bad. I think that's why I asked Sue to pick me up after work. My subconscious couldn't take the smell of the city yesterday.
There are a lot of dog owners here in the city. No problem with that. It's when they start being irresponsible in cleaning up after their doggies. Stinky people! They would walk their dog, and would forget to pick up poo after. But in fairness, not all of them are like that. You'd still see some of them actually pick up with their dog poo plastics and putting it in the trash. But others, oh forget it! Lazy ass!
(sigh) Well, today is another day. And I am hoping that when I get out of the building, the usual fresh polluted spring breeze will greet me. Let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?
And the other night, I couldn't put myself to sleep because some farm smell came to the city and invaded our apartment (we leave our windows open these days - for fresh polluted air to flow in). I had a tough time going to sleep.
Yeah I know, my olfactory sense is very sensitive these days. Signs of aging I guess. Ha!
But really now, why does this lovely city of Mo'real stinks of dog poo? Well, right now, I couldn't quite smell what's in store for today..but still, yesterday was really bad. I think that's why I asked Sue to pick me up after work. My subconscious couldn't take the smell of the city yesterday.
There are a lot of dog owners here in the city. No problem with that. It's when they start being irresponsible in cleaning up after their doggies. Stinky people! They would walk their dog, and would forget to pick up poo after. But in fairness, not all of them are like that. You'd still see some of them actually pick up with their dog poo plastics and putting it in the trash. But others, oh forget it! Lazy ass!
(sigh) Well, today is another day. And I am hoping that when I get out of the building, the usual fresh polluted spring breeze will greet me. Let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Color blind spot
I have an epiphany today. Yeah, I've used this word in my other post, but hey, this is my blog so I can use words anywhich way I want to.
We are all slaves. We became slaves the minute we understood that this society we are born into expected us to be dictated upon by which I should say it's not a free world after all.
My college professor in sociology once said, everything around us, tells us how we should act and how we can be accepted in our society. I remember her not too well, but one flashback...she was sitting on top of the table in her jeans, and lecturing us about how revolting the society makes us (or makes her) feel. From the traffic lights, how it manipulates people to stop at red and move at green and slow down at yellow. I tell ya, this teech is one amazonian thinker. She tried, I swear, she tried to make us revolt against the society that tells us to stop at red and go at green. Okay, what if we decided to go at red - then I don't think we'll have the chance to stop at green! Because before we know it, red will be spattered around the pavement, therefore, making all vehicles stop at the sight of red - as well. Nah..sorry teech but the colors just ain't a match.
So as you can see, this topic is really going nowhere, as usual. I wanted to talk of something and ended up talking about another. I think it's the keyboard. It's very nice to touch and my fingers just gets carried away typing while my brain is still battling over what the hell I am suppose to write! D'uh!
We are all slaves. We became slaves the minute we understood that this society we are born into expected us to be dictated upon by which I should say it's not a free world after all.
My college professor in sociology once said, everything around us, tells us how we should act and how we can be accepted in our society. I remember her not too well, but one flashback...she was sitting on top of the table in her jeans, and lecturing us about how revolting the society makes us (or makes her) feel. From the traffic lights, how it manipulates people to stop at red and move at green and slow down at yellow. I tell ya, this teech is one amazonian thinker. She tried, I swear, she tried to make us revolt against the society that tells us to stop at red and go at green. Okay, what if we decided to go at red - then I don't think we'll have the chance to stop at green! Because before we know it, red will be spattered around the pavement, therefore, making all vehicles stop at the sight of red - as well. Nah..sorry teech but the colors just ain't a match.
So as you can see, this topic is really going nowhere, as usual. I wanted to talk of something and ended up talking about another. I think it's the keyboard. It's very nice to touch and my fingers just gets carried away typing while my brain is still battling over what the hell I am suppose to write! D'uh!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Ticket to Confusion
I passed by the depanneur on my way home today to pick up a lotto ticket. And I remember I put the stash of lotto tickets in my jacket pocket just in case I happen to pass by the store and get a lotto ticket - which I just did, and I just told you. Hey! don't confuse me here!
So there, as I was waiting for the lady behind the cash checking my tickets, she told me, 'this one is from last year!' and I go, 'oh, ok, but can you still check it?' (since it was just October anyway, so technically, if I won the jackpot, I can still claim it since it's not October yet, is it?) She checked it, and of all those tickets, I only got one with $2 winning on it and another with a free ticket win. Yippee! I can celebrate now! Ha! Now the confusion begins. I asked for a $3 ticket and gave her $5, and then she gave me 2 tickets, one is the $3 and the other is a free one. And she told me she will then give me $4 - that is my change from my $5 and the $2 I won. Then I said, ' can u give me another ticket for tomorrow's lottery?' by which she tells me, 'you want $4 worth?' (which confused me, because what I know is the minimum amount for that ticket is $2).. By this time, I just wanna get outta there and just get my damn tickets! So I just said yes, and off I go. Whew!
Okay, so I think I may be the only one confuse here. Or WAS confused. Hey, it's a friday and I am tired. What an excuse, eh?
But what the heck, I got my tickets for tonight's lottery and tomorrow's. And wish I'm holding the lucky ones, so I don't need to buy anymore tickets and get confused all over again.
So there, as I was waiting for the lady behind the cash checking my tickets, she told me, 'this one is from last year!' and I go, 'oh, ok, but can you still check it?' (since it was just October anyway, so technically, if I won the jackpot, I can still claim it since it's not October yet, is it?) She checked it, and of all those tickets, I only got one with $2 winning on it and another with a free ticket win. Yippee! I can celebrate now! Ha! Now the confusion begins. I asked for a $3 ticket and gave her $5, and then she gave me 2 tickets, one is the $3 and the other is a free one. And she told me she will then give me $4 - that is my change from my $5 and the $2 I won. Then I said, ' can u give me another ticket for tomorrow's lottery?' by which she tells me, 'you want $4 worth?' (which confused me, because what I know is the minimum amount for that ticket is $2).. By this time, I just wanna get outta there and just get my damn tickets! So I just said yes, and off I go. Whew!
Okay, so I think I may be the only one confuse here. Or WAS confused. Hey, it's a friday and I am tired. What an excuse, eh?
But what the heck, I got my tickets for tonight's lottery and tomorrow's. And wish I'm holding the lucky ones, so I don't need to buy anymore tickets and get confused all over again.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Some Rein Facts
I was told I was a hard one to live with. Hmm...I want to expound on that. Try to analyze what made these people I've lived with for years say that. By these people I mean, my dear mother - with whom I've lived with for 30 years and Sue - who I've been living with for almost 6 years now. Okay, my mom actually cautioned Sue the first year I was here in Timbuktu, telling her to take care of me and don't be surprised how much of a hard head I am. So, there was already a premeditated assumption of how I am if you live with me. That's tough. Specially if it comes from your mother telling another person - that "my daughter is such a stubborn hard-headed ass, so don't be surprised if she frustrates you at times" okay, not the exact words but something to that effect.
Let me disintegrate this hypothesis known to to people I care about. Ha! I'm pretty sure, you would rather believe my mother if she tells you, right? Well, suit yourself.
When I lived with my folks back in Tralala land, I am pretty much in my own world. My own space. My own bubble. I remember, I don't want anybody touching my things, or using them without my permission. It was like, my things - mine, yours is yours. I slowly graduated from that stage - until I even find myself lending my toothbrush! - but to a friend anyway. It was an emergency case! So don't start getting squimish about it. Arret!
I love having things in order. I love order. I can think better if there's some order around me. The chi flows better. Ha!
Before, I like being specific with lighting in my bedroom. Now, I even read in the dark with only a flashlight to light the pages. People change you know.
So let's talk about the me - now. I have a few house rules - more of your guide to living with me. First, you clean up your own mess. And by mess, I mean, you take something out of the closet and spread it all around, you can put them back as soon as you finish. Sue, would tell me right away that she'd clean up (after taking out whatever is in the closet), because I easily get frustrated when there's a mess and nobody wants to be responsible for it. Don't worry, I try to be more patient as time goes by. I am working on it.
Second house rule, do what you want, go where you want to go, but let me know. Or at least answer your cellfone. Unless of course you don't want to be found.
Third, I wake up early but that doesn't mean everybody has to wake up as early too. I just like to have my quiet time. Quiet time for me means, no talking, just thinking, reading, typing or even cleaning the house. I love my quiet times. In my own space, in my own bubble. I don't usually talk (I chat sometimes online though), so if I am kinda spaced out and by myself, please don't bother carrying a conversation or asking me something I am not prepared to answer.
Fourth, I love making breakfast on Sundays. If you have a problem with that, tough. I love to make breakfast for everybody who is in the household. And also, I love to bake on weekends - specially if there are people who'd love to eat 'em. Also, I would appreciate it if you tell me what you think of my baking and cooking. And Sue gets frustrated when I wanted her to taste it right away - right out of the oven! Bully! Ha! I think I'm a bully!
I know, I know that's not nice. Believe me, I am working hard to change that. I am trying to be patient and calm and cool and collected. So, I guess I am not that hard to live with after all. Just don't burst my bubble.
Ha!
Let me disintegrate this hypothesis known to to people I care about. Ha! I'm pretty sure, you would rather believe my mother if she tells you, right? Well, suit yourself.
When I lived with my folks back in Tralala land, I am pretty much in my own world. My own space. My own bubble. I remember, I don't want anybody touching my things, or using them without my permission. It was like, my things - mine, yours is yours. I slowly graduated from that stage - until I even find myself lending my toothbrush! - but to a friend anyway. It was an emergency case! So don't start getting squimish about it. Arret!
I love having things in order. I love order. I can think better if there's some order around me. The chi flows better. Ha!
Before, I like being specific with lighting in my bedroom. Now, I even read in the dark with only a flashlight to light the pages. People change you know.
So let's talk about the me - now. I have a few house rules - more of your guide to living with me. First, you clean up your own mess. And by mess, I mean, you take something out of the closet and spread it all around, you can put them back as soon as you finish. Sue, would tell me right away that she'd clean up (after taking out whatever is in the closet), because I easily get frustrated when there's a mess and nobody wants to be responsible for it. Don't worry, I try to be more patient as time goes by. I am working on it.
Second house rule, do what you want, go where you want to go, but let me know. Or at least answer your cellfone. Unless of course you don't want to be found.
Third, I wake up early but that doesn't mean everybody has to wake up as early too. I just like to have my quiet time. Quiet time for me means, no talking, just thinking, reading, typing or even cleaning the house. I love my quiet times. In my own space, in my own bubble. I don't usually talk (I chat sometimes online though), so if I am kinda spaced out and by myself, please don't bother carrying a conversation or asking me something I am not prepared to answer.
Fourth, I love making breakfast on Sundays. If you have a problem with that, tough. I love to make breakfast for everybody who is in the household. And also, I love to bake on weekends - specially if there are people who'd love to eat 'em. Also, I would appreciate it if you tell me what you think of my baking and cooking. And Sue gets frustrated when I wanted her to taste it right away - right out of the oven! Bully! Ha! I think I'm a bully!
I know, I know that's not nice. Believe me, I am working hard to change that. I am trying to be patient and calm and cool and collected. So, I guess I am not that hard to live with after all. Just don't burst my bubble.
Ha!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Only When I Cry
I draw a puzzle in my mind
and wonder
if my life has changed since the last time.
I step back and look
How my dreams unfold
how I succeeded in some
and how I failed in others.
The minute details of my existence
As I grieve of what I lost
and how I rejoice of what I found.
The aches of life,
of love,
and of sacrifices each day
reminds me I am still a child
wanting, needing..
a warm embrace, a hug.
As I listen to the sentiments
of my soul
and pour my heart
until it aches no more.
I hold on
I hope
and I know
things will get better...
until the next time I cry.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sum of fears..so i think
I have been contemplating on whether to write about this topic for a few days now. I am a little skeptic about the idea of opening up to the cyberworld about my real identity - as a super hero. Ha! gotcha!
Seriously, I wanted to write something about fear. My fears. But my fear of fear kinda gets in the way of me writing about it sooner. But then, what the heck, let's give it a shot, shall we? BANG! BANG!
Since I was small, not that I really grew tall, but when I was still young, sheesh, that should be the word eh?...I have fear of some things, creatures here and there. For one, I have a fear of monkeys. There I said it. I think it started when my cousin's grandma has this pet monkey and it got loose and went to see my baby sister (I was around 4 or 5 ) and unfortunately, I was a bit slow so the monkey got me and harassed me! Ha! My aunt later told me that I was lucky the monkey didn't snag my eye and put it in his mouth or juggled it and tossed it around! (okay, that was a bit too much - that's my own words already). It's not that bad really this fear of monkey, I am just squimish being around them. Although, I don't mind the little monkeys where I work to be around me.
Then back in college, I read this book about fears and phobias, and before I knew it, I had developed a fear of closed spaces - claustrophobia! Okay, I know how it started. Each morning when I ride the bus to school, I would be reading this book and once in awhile glance at the people or my surroundings -otherwise I would miss my stop. And while reading on the topic of claustrophobia, I glanced and saw a lot of people standing inside the bus - like, where did they all come from? And the book was describing that even in a crowd you can feel claustrophobic - Yay!!! get me outta here! I started panicking...sweating, cramps...oh my, and there I was finding myself being claustrophobic among crowds. It's been okay for years now. No worries. I pretty much have it under control I think. Just that I get a little claustrophobic when I think of how being a claustrophobic is!
Then recently, I got this tiny wee bit fear of mushrooms. Yes, those mushrooms that you put in your stir fry or bake with or even grill. Those mushrooms. I don't know where it came from - my mushroomaphobia (okay, it's a made up name - blame me). But all I know is that I feel a little anxiety whenever I have to cut a mushroom - like there'll be a dwarf that would come out from behind the mushroom and tell me ' yee beeta cot dis gud, eh' - whatever! But no worries, I try to overcome this fear and eliminate it as soon as I can. Goodness! I cook with mushrooms and they taste really good!
So there, I made myself vulnerable to the public eye. Judge me if you feel like it. But I know you have your own set of fears too. And I will know 'em sooner or later. Hehehe...
Seriously, I wanted to write something about fear. My fears. But my fear of fear kinda gets in the way of me writing about it sooner. But then, what the heck, let's give it a shot, shall we? BANG! BANG!
Since I was small, not that I really grew tall, but when I was still young, sheesh, that should be the word eh?...I have fear of some things, creatures here and there. For one, I have a fear of monkeys. There I said it. I think it started when my cousin's grandma has this pet monkey and it got loose and went to see my baby sister (I was around 4 or 5 ) and unfortunately, I was a bit slow so the monkey got me and harassed me! Ha! My aunt later told me that I was lucky the monkey didn't snag my eye and put it in his mouth or juggled it and tossed it around! (okay, that was a bit too much - that's my own words already). It's not that bad really this fear of monkey, I am just squimish being around them. Although, I don't mind the little monkeys where I work to be around me.
Then back in college, I read this book about fears and phobias, and before I knew it, I had developed a fear of closed spaces - claustrophobia! Okay, I know how it started. Each morning when I ride the bus to school, I would be reading this book and once in awhile glance at the people or my surroundings -otherwise I would miss my stop. And while reading on the topic of claustrophobia, I glanced and saw a lot of people standing inside the bus - like, where did they all come from? And the book was describing that even in a crowd you can feel claustrophobic - Yay!!! get me outta here! I started panicking...sweating, cramps...oh my, and there I was finding myself being claustrophobic among crowds. It's been okay for years now. No worries. I pretty much have it under control I think. Just that I get a little claustrophobic when I think of how being a claustrophobic is!
Then recently, I got this tiny wee bit fear of mushrooms. Yes, those mushrooms that you put in your stir fry or bake with or even grill. Those mushrooms. I don't know where it came from - my mushroomaphobia (okay, it's a made up name - blame me). But all I know is that I feel a little anxiety whenever I have to cut a mushroom - like there'll be a dwarf that would come out from behind the mushroom and tell me ' yee beeta cot dis gud, eh' - whatever! But no worries, I try to overcome this fear and eliminate it as soon as I can. Goodness! I cook with mushrooms and they taste really good!
So there, I made myself vulnerable to the public eye. Judge me if you feel like it. But I know you have your own set of fears too. And I will know 'em sooner or later. Hehehe...
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