I smell vanilla. Mmmm...french vanilla coffee. Oh if only it was coffee flavored vanilla. Hmm, doesn't sound right.
It's a very gloomy, bed weather day today and I am stuck at home waiting. Waiting for the sun to shine, waiting for the janitors to fix the light fixtures. Waiting for the world to change. Not.
I love to be lazy once in awhile. My idea of being lazy is not really doing anything. But not really standing still.
It's a weekend. A Saturday. It's raining outside. Rein can't go out and play.
So it's gonna be a homey saturday. Let's see what we can do...SLEEP! oh if only. I wish. But as I mentioned before in previous posts, I have a hard time to sleep. My mind is always awake. I don't wanna miss a heartbeat. I don't want to miss anything that might pass me by. I know I'm just making irrational rationalities. Ha! the redundancy of rein...
Seriously, I sometimes think I have sleep deprivation. Okay, this is my blog and I can type anything I want and can think of. So, bear with me. I tried taking an organic tea before going to bed, it says it would help give you a good night sleep. Well, it should, it's made of hops, the plant/herb/or bush that they put in making beers. But after sometime, it's really not too helpful.
I think I should make that call to see my doctor. I should ask for some meds to help me sleep restfully.
Yeah, maybe I should.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
One of life's miracles
It was a happy day today at the daycare. Somebody is pregnant! Delia is finally having a baby! Woohooo!!
Everybody got into a rather "cheerier" mood (being friday, it's always a happy day), learning of this miracle that has happened to one of "us". Everybody was excited except for Delia, who always tells us she doesn't want to have kids. (The kids she handles is already enough). But how could you not want one of your own? Specially when you are given one. She tells me she is not ready. But who is ever really ready for motherhood? It is a privilege given not to everybody - so it seems. Some days I think I will never be one. (But never say never).
When I was young I never really wanted to have kids. Kids are expensive. But the joy you get is priceless. I guess that's why they invented mastercard and visa.
I learned that when my nephew came into our lives. He was an everyday source of hope, joy and love. You feel a little down, you just have to look at him and you know, things will be alright.
And at the daycare, you know you don't get paid the way you're supposed to, you get frustrated over ingredients, but then again, you hear the kids laugh, sing, gives you a hug once in awhile, and some recent bonus - some of them calling you "tita reina", just melts your heart over and over.
Kids are kids.
I wonder sometimes if I was a joy to adults when I was a kid. Do you ever think that? Do you ever wonder if you brought smiles to adult faces when they see you.
Oh kids are kids...and then they grow up. Fast. And then you hardly know them and they don't remember you.
But I sure hope they do.
Everybody got into a rather "cheerier" mood (being friday, it's always a happy day), learning of this miracle that has happened to one of "us". Everybody was excited except for Delia, who always tells us she doesn't want to have kids. (The kids she handles is already enough). But how could you not want one of your own? Specially when you are given one. She tells me she is not ready. But who is ever really ready for motherhood? It is a privilege given not to everybody - so it seems. Some days I think I will never be one. (But never say never).
When I was young I never really wanted to have kids. Kids are expensive. But the joy you get is priceless. I guess that's why they invented mastercard and visa.
I learned that when my nephew came into our lives. He was an everyday source of hope, joy and love. You feel a little down, you just have to look at him and you know, things will be alright.
And at the daycare, you know you don't get paid the way you're supposed to, you get frustrated over ingredients, but then again, you hear the kids laugh, sing, gives you a hug once in awhile, and some recent bonus - some of them calling you "tita reina", just melts your heart over and over.
Kids are kids.
I wonder sometimes if I was a joy to adults when I was a kid. Do you ever think that? Do you ever wonder if you brought smiles to adult faces when they see you.
Oh kids are kids...and then they grow up. Fast. And then you hardly know them and they don't remember you.
But I sure hope they do.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Senseless Post
Have you ever had that kind of nap where your body just felt so at rest or just felt it run away from you?
I took a nap today. For the love of me, I rarely take naps, specially on weekdays. But I was tired. So my body said. I didn't want to argue or throw a temper tantrum to myself and with myself. That's a bit hard isn't it? Just thinking about it makes me wonder what the hell I am talking about.
Okay, bear with me right now. As I type, I try to muster any sense that's left in me in trying to convey any meaning about my mere existence here, hence, just being able to type. What d'uh?!?
Now, I am beginning to argue with myself and can't stop typing away. Nagger.
Fine. On with the nap thingy.
Sue woke me up since I still have to bake some lemon loaves. And besides, I asked her to wake me up after an hour of what seemed like an eternal bliss......ah, life...
But of course, I end up waking after an hour and a half. Minutes after waking up, I still feel the bliss my body experienced. I haven't felt like that for quite a long time.
Maybe I should do that more often. Now, which one was it? Sleeping? Waking up? or baking?
Nah, I must be dreaming.
I took a nap today. For the love of me, I rarely take naps, specially on weekdays. But I was tired. So my body said. I didn't want to argue or throw a temper tantrum to myself and with myself. That's a bit hard isn't it? Just thinking about it makes me wonder what the hell I am talking about.
Okay, bear with me right now. As I type, I try to muster any sense that's left in me in trying to convey any meaning about my mere existence here, hence, just being able to type. What d'uh?!?
Now, I am beginning to argue with myself and can't stop typing away. Nagger.
Fine. On with the nap thingy.
Sue woke me up since I still have to bake some lemon loaves. And besides, I asked her to wake me up after an hour of what seemed like an eternal bliss......ah, life...
But of course, I end up waking after an hour and a half. Minutes after waking up, I still feel the bliss my body experienced. I haven't felt like that for quite a long time.
Maybe I should do that more often. Now, which one was it? Sleeping? Waking up? or baking?
Nah, I must be dreaming.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Phony Phonecards
These phonecards which you think are actually saving you money in calling overseas is a hoax! You better believe it.
Since I got here, I have tried using different ones, in the hope of finding the "perfect" one, or even the one that tells the truth about time! Yes! I am mad! Somebody has to start revolting against these phonies! We are not stupid! We can tell time!
Okay, hold your horses...eeeeeeeeeyah!
Most of these phonies would tell you how many more minutes you have as soon as you dialed the number you are calling - say, "you have 42 minutes for this call". For first time users, they would actually believe that you have 42 minutes to gab and then...tick tock tick tock...after a good 20 minutes, one biatch would butt in and say, "you have..(hold your breath) 30 seconds remaining" WHAAAAT???? what kind of timer are they using??? You gotta be kidding me!
And so, you start panicking!!!...all the more speaking jibberish over the phone, with the worst reception ever! And worst, you end up dropping that damn phone! Ha! your worst nightmare has arrived! click. "goodbye" WAIIIIIIIIT!
The biatch says goodbye before you and the person on the other side can start with the "g". I swear, if I get to see that biatch I'm gonna give her a goodone. Biatch!
But of course, we live in a capitalist world. You go to the store and there they are - the depanneur's wall plastered with these colorful phonies, mesmerizing you, calling you...And then you tell yourself, "hmm..i should try the yellow color today...maybe it has a good reception" And voila! After profusely dialing and dialing, trying to connect, you start losing your time. You just lost your $5 to some biatch telling you lies. Lies about time, and mocks you by saying goodbye before you do. Might as well have a recording saying, "you have 42 minutes for this call - NOT! HAHAHAHAHA". Then I could have more respect on that one.
What can we do, we are just mere slaves in this society that mocks us left and right, thinking it's ok to tell us 42 minutes when we will actually get 20 or even less. And if you use your regular landline, heck, it's not just gonna be $5 down the drain, but you will be in it too.
Can't win.
I should just go online.
Since I got here, I have tried using different ones, in the hope of finding the "perfect" one, or even the one that tells the truth about time! Yes! I am mad! Somebody has to start revolting against these phonies! We are not stupid! We can tell time!
Okay, hold your horses...eeeeeeeeeyah!
Most of these phonies would tell you how many more minutes you have as soon as you dialed the number you are calling - say, "you have 42 minutes for this call". For first time users, they would actually believe that you have 42 minutes to gab and then...tick tock tick tock...after a good 20 minutes, one biatch would butt in and say, "you have..(hold your breath) 30 seconds remaining" WHAAAAT???? what kind of timer are they using??? You gotta be kidding me!
And so, you start panicking!!!...all the more speaking jibberish over the phone, with the worst reception ever! And worst, you end up dropping that damn phone! Ha! your worst nightmare has arrived! click. "goodbye" WAIIIIIIIIT!
The biatch says goodbye before you and the person on the other side can start with the "g". I swear, if I get to see that biatch I'm gonna give her a goodone. Biatch!
But of course, we live in a capitalist world. You go to the store and there they are - the depanneur's wall plastered with these colorful phonies, mesmerizing you, calling you...And then you tell yourself, "hmm..i should try the yellow color today...maybe it has a good reception" And voila! After profusely dialing and dialing, trying to connect, you start losing your time. You just lost your $5 to some biatch telling you lies. Lies about time, and mocks you by saying goodbye before you do. Might as well have a recording saying, "you have 42 minutes for this call - NOT! HAHAHAHAHA". Then I could have more respect on that one.
What can we do, we are just mere slaves in this society that mocks us left and right, thinking it's ok to tell us 42 minutes when we will actually get 20 or even less. And if you use your regular landline, heck, it's not just gonna be $5 down the drain, but you will be in it too.
Can't win.
I should just go online.
Monday, April 7, 2008
That achy feeling
This post is about somebody I ache to see. Hmm...present tense, ache, aching, and will be aching to see until I see this person in person. Oh my! I think I have arthritis bad! All achy! Frankly, right now, as I am typing I am beginning to doubt if that is the right spelling of that word. Could somebody tell me! Please!
Okay, okay, I'm okay now. This somebody entered (or re-entered) my dormant-like-mount-royal-life and shaken my quiet and peaceful existence. Ha! This sounds unreal now. But it is real. This somebody is real.
That is why I ache to see this person again. After all these years.
There I go again. Achy. I should just use longing, so I won't have doubts in spelling. Agreed? Agree.
I have never felt so alive in a while. Not that I was dead or in cryo. But you get my drift. And I cannot imagine this somebody, this friend can make me feel this way. Can make me type words that is redundant and yet feels right to type away.
Sometimes I try to think of why I am feeling this way. Achy. Longy - nah, this is not right word. I have other "somebodies" in my life who have always been around. But I guess, when a certain somebody enters or in this case "re-enters" your life, it's a whole new thing. It's a great feeling. And I love it. I hope it's for real. I wish it won't end - the excitement that flows within me when I know this somebody feels the same way as I do. It's a bit odd, but good odd. Never absurd.
Life, I think has a way of presenting people that is good for us. And always at the right time. People who will help us be better than what we think we are. Ones who will push us but not overwhelm. Those that will inspire us to seek the goodness around us and appreciate it even more. People in our lives that are "feel-good" people. You feel good knowing they are there for you and you for them.
And this is the kind of person this somebody is. I have told this somebody over and over how much I appreciate the love and concern we both have for each other. It always feels good to know somebody thinks of you not just while you think of them, but even when you have so many things to think about. See, the redundancy I am talking about?
I know this person is for keeps. This time, there's no letting go. No more drifting away.
And that is a promise I am willing to commit.
Okay, okay, I'm okay now. This somebody entered (or re-entered) my dormant-like-mount-royal-life and shaken my quiet and peaceful existence. Ha! This sounds unreal now. But it is real. This somebody is real.
That is why I ache to see this person again. After all these years.
There I go again. Achy. I should just use longing, so I won't have doubts in spelling. Agreed? Agree.
I have never felt so alive in a while. Not that I was dead or in cryo. But you get my drift. And I cannot imagine this somebody, this friend can make me feel this way. Can make me type words that is redundant and yet feels right to type away.
Sometimes I try to think of why I am feeling this way. Achy. Longy - nah, this is not right word. I have other "somebodies" in my life who have always been around. But I guess, when a certain somebody enters or in this case "re-enters" your life, it's a whole new thing. It's a great feeling. And I love it. I hope it's for real. I wish it won't end - the excitement that flows within me when I know this somebody feels the same way as I do. It's a bit odd, but good odd. Never absurd.
Life, I think has a way of presenting people that is good for us. And always at the right time. People who will help us be better than what we think we are. Ones who will push us but not overwhelm. Those that will inspire us to seek the goodness around us and appreciate it even more. People in our lives that are "feel-good" people. You feel good knowing they are there for you and you for them.
And this is the kind of person this somebody is. I have told this somebody over and over how much I appreciate the love and concern we both have for each other. It always feels good to know somebody thinks of you not just while you think of them, but even when you have so many things to think about. See, the redundancy I am talking about?
I know this person is for keeps. This time, there's no letting go. No more drifting away.
And that is a promise I am willing to commit.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Happy Day Brother!
It's my favorite brother's 37th birthday on the 10th. Just making sure I remember.. Yes, he is my favorite brother and my only brother..thank God! Imagine if there were more of them? What would this world be??? (suppose he doesn't read my blog, does he?)
He knows if I got more pictures here with me (6,000miles away), I would put it. Just to annoy him. Ha!
Life's good, kuya! Cheers!
He knows if I got more pictures here with me (6,000miles away), I would put it. Just to annoy him. Ha!
Life's good, kuya! Cheers!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
You love Chinese food
I got a surprise today from one of my favorite kiddies at the daycare. Lucas gave me a fortune cookie! It was no surprise for his parents I guess for their little boy to be fond of me - mind you, because of his allergies, he can't eat any food at the daycare, has never eaten any of my cooking - wait, ah, he ate some soup one time 'cause daddy forgot to make his lunch and he was running late for work. Anywho, mommy would usually tell me what new antics he's up to and how he would say my name out loud on their way to the daycare. Mommy told me jokingly that she was jealous! Haha. That was when he was three. He's four now.
So, on with the cookie, I didn't open it right away since I was "extremely" busy prepping the lunch for the little monsters. But I got curious. I thought, "hmm...what else could possibly make it more interesting.." So, with my low EQ (emotional quotient people! - sheesh!), I opened it and started munching on the cookie, and pulled out the paper - and it read "You love chinese food". Just that.
I love chinese food. Could there be some Dalai Lama -profound meaning to that? I wonder. So, I continued on puttering in the kitchen while thinking of what deeper meaning that it could possibly say. I began extracting each word. It says YOU, means...ME. Hmmm...it can also mean "you people of the world" or maybe "you, yes you, dumb twit" or perhaps, just me - the simple one, or the chosen one. Hmmm..and then comes the next word LOVE. Ah, the word that sailed a thousand ships. The word that killed millions if not billions of people all over. I thought, finally, a word with deep seated meaning. Love, as the online dictionary says, is synonymous to affection, attachment, devotedness, devotion, fondness, and passion. I liked that last one, passion. So, the chosen one has passion. Ha!
Third word, CHINESE. Hmm..nothing much to it really, like the Chinese people populates like three quarters of the entire world. But hey, what about their characteristics? Chinese people is also known to see opportunity over crisis. They are resilient people (like Filipinos too you know). So, to attach the first two words... the chosen one has passion and is able to see opportunity in every challenged faced. Sounds absurd, but what the heck.
Last word, FOOD. What deep meaning can food have? I dug into what limited vocabulary I have, and thought of food as something that fuels your body. Food is fuel. Food is energy.
Hmm..as you can see here, I did a lot of thinking, made my head ache bad. No worries, motrin is just in the drawer.
Now, let's see what we got here. You translates to the chosen one. And love into passion. Chinese into seeing opportunity in every crisis. Food translates to energy.
So therefore, the small piece of paper I got from that fortune cookie that read: YOU LOVE CHINESE FOOD = The chosen one has passion in seeing opportunity in every crisis energetically?
I think I'll just go with the original one. You love chinese food. And yes, I love chinese food.
So, on with the cookie, I didn't open it right away since I was "extremely" busy prepping the lunch for the little monsters. But I got curious. I thought, "hmm...what else could possibly make it more interesting.." So, with my low EQ (emotional quotient people! - sheesh!), I opened it and started munching on the cookie, and pulled out the paper - and it read "You love chinese food". Just that.
I love chinese food. Could there be some Dalai Lama -profound meaning to that? I wonder. So, I continued on puttering in the kitchen while thinking of what deeper meaning that it could possibly say. I began extracting each word. It says YOU, means...ME. Hmmm...it can also mean "you people of the world" or maybe "you, yes you, dumb twit" or perhaps, just me - the simple one, or the chosen one. Hmmm..and then comes the next word LOVE. Ah, the word that sailed a thousand ships. The word that killed millions if not billions of people all over. I thought, finally, a word with deep seated meaning. Love, as the online dictionary says, is synonymous to affection, attachment, devotedness, devotion, fondness, and passion. I liked that last one, passion. So, the chosen one has passion. Ha!
Third word, CHINESE. Hmm..nothing much to it really, like the Chinese people populates like three quarters of the entire world. But hey, what about their characteristics? Chinese people is also known to see opportunity over crisis. They are resilient people (like Filipinos too you know). So, to attach the first two words... the chosen one has passion and is able to see opportunity in every challenged faced. Sounds absurd, but what the heck.
Last word, FOOD. What deep meaning can food have? I dug into what limited vocabulary I have, and thought of food as something that fuels your body. Food is fuel. Food is energy.
Hmm..as you can see here, I did a lot of thinking, made my head ache bad. No worries, motrin is just in the drawer.
Now, let's see what we got here. You translates to the chosen one. And love into passion. Chinese into seeing opportunity in every crisis. Food translates to energy.
So therefore, the small piece of paper I got from that fortune cookie that read: YOU LOVE CHINESE FOOD = The chosen one has passion in seeing opportunity in every crisis energetically?
I think I'll just go with the original one. You love chinese food. And yes, I love chinese food.
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