Sometimes, saying goodbye is the best thing you can do to move on. And never look back.
We are finally saying goodbye to our small apartment come March 1st. We lived in this building starting in a tiny apartment - then after more than a year moved to a small apartment (same building). Now, we are moving to a big apartment (as compared to the previous tiny and small). But this time it's in a different building. Woooohooo!!
There are some good times shared in this apartment (the small one). After occupying a tiny one, we felt we could breathe a little better in this small space. After all, there's a lot of windows (surrounded!) in the living room and bedroom. You can see the price of gas in both shell and esso - and compare them once in awhile! You can follow the flow of traffic from the one intersection to almost the next, during the summer, you can hear the kids playing in the yard of the daycare, and in some odd nights, you can hear somebody yelling to someone to open the front door! What a character! Yep! this building has a lot of character-s. There's some zombie-looking people, hobbits, the tin man, the lion, scarecrow, and even a witch!..so I think one way of describing this building is picture the wizard of oz meets the narnia characters plus lord of the rings. That should sum it up.
Come to think of it there's really no reason left to stay in this place. Like a lover waiting for that perfect timing to leave - it is time. No buts, no ifs. We just have to go.
Yep, we are packed!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Time to look for katy
There's a point in your life where you find yourself vulnerable to all the crazy elements of society. No matter how good and lucky you are, but it's a big world ( although we grew up singing "it's a small world, after all") and there are A LOT of crazies out there (yes, not just in the cyber world).
After seeing the neighbor picking his own lock (apparently, he lost his keys when he slipped on the icy sidewalk), we found ourselves looking online for a security bar or an alarm system to put by our door.
Let me tell you about this neighbor. He is our new next door neighbor, moved in last December. Started hammering something the first couple of weeks but to our dismay, is still hammering that damn nail (we think he's using a sole of his shoe or the head of a screwdriver) - or he is building a rock climbing wall - ha! but seriously, how many nails can you hammer in such a small apartment? And this neighbor keeps on introducing himself everytime you see him (cookoo alert!). So I suppose you would understand our sense of fear for this loonie or for any other loonie who lives on our floor and in our building.
The other night, an hour after midnight, a guy who lives a few doors down, forgot he was cooking some hotdogs and most likely, fell asleep! What an idiot! The alarm went off, there was a lot of smoke in the hallway and when we were about to leave our apartment, the old lady who lives a couple of doors away says, "it's ok, somebody just forgot a weiner on the stove". Couldn't help but laugh afterwards - that damn ass forgot his weiner on the stove! ha! And to top it off, he denies he had his weiner left on the stove. We saw about three firemen come in his apartment, hopefully they gave him a good whack on the head! Another idiot!
(sigh) It's a big world alright. Lots of space for idiots and loonies to roam around. Anywhere you look, there will always be somebody around the corner who's on the borderline of loonieland.
But hey, what can I say, this country's dollar is called a loonie. Need I say more?
After seeing the neighbor picking his own lock (apparently, he lost his keys when he slipped on the icy sidewalk), we found ourselves looking online for a security bar or an alarm system to put by our door.
Let me tell you about this neighbor. He is our new next door neighbor, moved in last December. Started hammering something the first couple of weeks but to our dismay, is still hammering that damn nail (we think he's using a sole of his shoe or the head of a screwdriver) - or he is building a rock climbing wall - ha! but seriously, how many nails can you hammer in such a small apartment? And this neighbor keeps on introducing himself everytime you see him (cookoo alert!). So I suppose you would understand our sense of fear for this loonie or for any other loonie who lives on our floor and in our building.
The other night, an hour after midnight, a guy who lives a few doors down, forgot he was cooking some hotdogs and most likely, fell asleep! What an idiot! The alarm went off, there was a lot of smoke in the hallway and when we were about to leave our apartment, the old lady who lives a couple of doors away says, "it's ok, somebody just forgot a weiner on the stove". Couldn't help but laugh afterwards - that damn ass forgot his weiner on the stove! ha! And to top it off, he denies he had his weiner left on the stove. We saw about three firemen come in his apartment, hopefully they gave him a good whack on the head! Another idiot!
(sigh) It's a big world alright. Lots of space for idiots and loonies to roam around. Anywhere you look, there will always be somebody around the corner who's on the borderline of loonieland.
But hey, what can I say, this country's dollar is called a loonie. Need I say more?
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Today's epiphany
I read somewhere a long time ago, that in this life, there are three things you must do before you die. One is hug a tree. Second, write a book. Third - hmm, honestly, I can't remember. So, you might as well make up something according to your liking. So, for me, my third one would be...(thinking....pouting....thinking....) Okay! I can't come up with one at this moment. Can I get back to you on that?
The first one (hug a tree), well my parents' house is surrounded by trees - but I never thought of hugging one really. And now, I have been living in the city and if you hug any of those trees, heaven forbid, you might find yourself a squirrel to take home. Yay! I guess right now, this tree-hugging gig ain't gonna happen.
The second one though, writing a book. Now, that sounds more like me (at least that's what I try to convince myself). I have been contemplating on what should be my first book (and probably my last, too!). Should it be a cookbook? Since I cook for a living (if you don't know by now, please see my previous blogs). I am thinking of making it more kid-friendly type, meaning meals that kids would love to gobble down - no questions, no arguments, no negotiations. After all, I cook at a daycare and the kids are growing - vertically and horizontally! But of course, skeptic as I am, I still think that this is too premature of an idea and to hype up on all the inspiration would be...a little too soon...yeah, too skeptic.
On the other hand, why not a novel? But about what? Should it be a mystery, drama, comedy or adventure. Or maybe a horror-thriller where all characters die in the end - all in pieces! Yeah, too bloody.
Wait, what about an interactive one, huh? One that you squeeze in some blank papers for readers to take notes on. (Boink!) Why not just pile a whole slew of papers stitch it together and make a notebook- ya, very original! (another BOINK!).
The first one (hug a tree), well my parents' house is surrounded by trees - but I never thought of hugging one really. And now, I have been living in the city and if you hug any of those trees, heaven forbid, you might find yourself a squirrel to take home. Yay! I guess right now, this tree-hugging gig ain't gonna happen.
The second one though, writing a book. Now, that sounds more like me (at least that's what I try to convince myself). I have been contemplating on what should be my first book (and probably my last, too!). Should it be a cookbook? Since I cook for a living (if you don't know by now, please see my previous blogs). I am thinking of making it more kid-friendly type, meaning meals that kids would love to gobble down - no questions, no arguments, no negotiations. After all, I cook at a daycare and the kids are growing - vertically and horizontally! But of course, skeptic as I am, I still think that this is too premature of an idea and to hype up on all the inspiration would be...a little too soon...yeah, too skeptic.
On the other hand, why not a novel? But about what? Should it be a mystery, drama, comedy or adventure. Or maybe a horror-thriller where all characters die in the end - all in pieces! Yeah, too bloody.
Wait, what about an interactive one, huh? One that you squeeze in some blank papers for readers to take notes on. (Boink!) Why not just pile a whole slew of papers stitch it together and make a notebook- ya, very original! (another BOINK!).
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Time to bring back the old self
I have a proposition to my self. It's not a resolution but a proposition. Because I don't know if my self will accept it yet. This thought was like a song playing in my head, harassing my brain since last night but I was too cold to get out of bed.
On with the proposition. I propose to treat my self with a lot more kindness starting this year (if my self likes it, to continue on the following years) - starting off with staying away from sweets, eating less meat but more vegetables. Stay away from coffee completely. Drink more juice. Eat cereals in the morning (and at night). Never set eyes on chips. After all, who really needs junk in your system?
I propose to be more active in achieving my self wants and needs. Hug my self more often, give a pat on the shoulder after a long day's work - assuring my self we did a good job and that my self is important to the world (okay, that may be too much, but my self should feel good everytime, all the time).
I also propose to minimize my self wallowing in things I cannot change (stop sulking, for pete's sake and get on with life!).
I should also start treating my self with nice things once in awhile. Wear nice clothes even if you are just going to the grocery store. Try wearing heels again. And remember how good it felt knowing you look good and "damn so pretty".
Anyway, with all things said, this proposition can only materialize if my self choose to accept it.
So, please, please, DO!
On with the proposition. I propose to treat my self with a lot more kindness starting this year (if my self likes it, to continue on the following years) - starting off with staying away from sweets, eating less meat but more vegetables. Stay away from coffee completely. Drink more juice. Eat cereals in the morning (and at night). Never set eyes on chips. After all, who really needs junk in your system?
I propose to be more active in achieving my self wants and needs. Hug my self more often, give a pat on the shoulder after a long day's work - assuring my self we did a good job and that my self is important to the world (okay, that may be too much, but my self should feel good everytime, all the time).
I also propose to minimize my self wallowing in things I cannot change (stop sulking, for pete's sake and get on with life!).
I should also start treating my self with nice things once in awhile. Wear nice clothes even if you are just going to the grocery store. Try wearing heels again. And remember how good it felt knowing you look good and "damn so pretty".
Anyway, with all things said, this proposition can only materialize if my self choose to accept it.
So, please, please, DO!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Just one of those days
I was a little bit under the weather the past days. Couldn't even spell or type or think much. Must be the weather. Yes, gotta blame it on something. Or it could just be hormonal - you know, women just have all these hormones act up once a month at least.
It's a time when you just wanna curl up and just be a shrimp - all day long or all week long. Terrible.
In younger days, you wonder how come people get to be emotionally messed up and sometimes you wish you could feel the depressing emotion that others feel - wrong wish! Before you know it, there you are, all grown up and feeling the same sh*t that you have "wished" you felt as well. Lesson learned: be extremely careful with what you wish for.
But wherever life takes you, you know you will always bounce back (unless you're six feet under). With the help of a grown-up word: resiliency. It maybe hard to leap from a depressive state but if you learn to step back and look at things in a different perspective - accept what you cannot change (for the meantime) and focus on what you can change and how you can change it - then it won't be long before you "return back to your normal state" (I borrowed that from registry mechanic - hehe)
So before I start sounding like Dr. Phil here, which, for those of you who hasn't seen him in person, he is really tall. And for some reason, people just scream and go ga-ga over him. Okay, STOP! reserve for next blog.
Well, what I am actually trying to say here is I'm back now. Back into typing again - of whatever crosses my mind. Ya, I'm a blabber and damn proud to be one. Ha!
It's a time when you just wanna curl up and just be a shrimp - all day long or all week long. Terrible.
In younger days, you wonder how come people get to be emotionally messed up and sometimes you wish you could feel the depressing emotion that others feel - wrong wish! Before you know it, there you are, all grown up and feeling the same sh*t that you have "wished" you felt as well. Lesson learned: be extremely careful with what you wish for.
But wherever life takes you, you know you will always bounce back (unless you're six feet under). With the help of a grown-up word: resiliency. It maybe hard to leap from a depressive state but if you learn to step back and look at things in a different perspective - accept what you cannot change (for the meantime) and focus on what you can change and how you can change it - then it won't be long before you "return back to your normal state" (I borrowed that from registry mechanic - hehe)
So before I start sounding like Dr. Phil here, which, for those of you who hasn't seen him in person, he is really tall. And for some reason, people just scream and go ga-ga over him. Okay, STOP! reserve for next blog.
Well, what I am actually trying to say here is I'm back now. Back into typing again - of whatever crosses my mind. Ya, I'm a blabber and damn proud to be one. Ha!
Monday, January 14, 2008
The poet that was
We started sorting out some papers, loads of papers last weekend and I came across a small notebook with my first few poems (like really the first ones - when I was in 5th grade 'til high school). I would like to share some of them here) Brace yourselves! :)
I NEED SOMEONE
I need someone to be my friend
Someone I could walk with hand in hand.
I need someone to comfort me
But who could she be?
Someone to help me with my problems,
Who'll advise me so I could solve them.
Someone I could trust
With the memories of my past.
The one that could make me happy
When I'm feeling lonely,
The one that has a good character
But where could I find her?
Maybe she's a gift of God
For me from up above
A friend that I could treasure
With the love I couldn't measure.
She's the greatest person
That I've ever known
A friend that is so true
And that is really you.
ROFL. I couldn't help it. Hahahaha. I think I was talking about my dog. Don't you think? Hey, give me a break, I know it sounds a little self-centered, but I was 11, what can you expect?
Anyway, here's another one. I wrote this one just a few days after the first one (above). Remember, I was 11 or maybe around 11 and a half.
BROKEN HEARTED
All those days I'm with you
You made me happy when I'm blue
But one day you made me cry
When you said to me, goodbye.
All the memories you left to me
It made me sad as sad as I could be
'Cause when I think of you everytime
I thought you were already mine.
Days have passed
You have returned
So much that I've missed you
But what did you do?
You didn't keep your promise to me
I said to myself how foolish I could be
In all my life, I have loved you eversince,
And I thought you were my prince.
That's the wrong thing I've ever did
And now love is all I need
But I promised that I'll never love again anymore
Because of what you did to me before.
But one day I met a guy
I said to myself, why not give it another try
Whenever you see his meaningful smile
It will make you think for awhile.
He is quite good-looking
For his eyes are very captivating
He has the perfect voice
And can be a composer's choice.
When he whispered to me, 'I loveyou'
I thought it all came true
But he disappeared right before my eyes
'Cause it was only a dream, a dream that was very nice.
Every night I think of you
'Cause I couldn't start my whole life anew
And I'm still a broken hearted
Oh, how could I mend it?
Say what age again? eleven! or maybe eleven and a half! I know, it sounds corny, that is the result of watching too much soaps! But I remember when I finished writing this poem, I was damn proud I was able to do a 9-paragraph one! Whew!
This will do for now. I don't want you have indigestion after reading those two. I promise it gets a little better - past one poem, "my little tree". Which I will reserve when we are all having a bad day. It's a sure picker-upper. It sent me laughing so hard I got a tummy ache after reading it. Okay, I won't tell anymore about it.
In the meantime, I will just amuse myself by reminiscing the poet who died a long time ago. Alas, her wit remains...
I NEED SOMEONE
I need someone to be my friend
Someone I could walk with hand in hand.
I need someone to comfort me
But who could she be?
Someone to help me with my problems,
Who'll advise me so I could solve them.
Someone I could trust
With the memories of my past.
The one that could make me happy
When I'm feeling lonely,
The one that has a good character
But where could I find her?
Maybe she's a gift of God
For me from up above
A friend that I could treasure
With the love I couldn't measure.
She's the greatest person
That I've ever known
A friend that is so true
And that is really you.
ROFL. I couldn't help it. Hahahaha. I think I was talking about my dog. Don't you think? Hey, give me a break, I know it sounds a little self-centered, but I was 11, what can you expect?
Anyway, here's another one. I wrote this one just a few days after the first one (above). Remember, I was 11 or maybe around 11 and a half.
BROKEN HEARTED
All those days I'm with you
You made me happy when I'm blue
But one day you made me cry
When you said to me, goodbye.
All the memories you left to me
It made me sad as sad as I could be
'Cause when I think of you everytime
I thought you were already mine.
Days have passed
You have returned
So much that I've missed you
But what did you do?
You didn't keep your promise to me
I said to myself how foolish I could be
In all my life, I have loved you eversince,
And I thought you were my prince.
That's the wrong thing I've ever did
And now love is all I need
But I promised that I'll never love again anymore
Because of what you did to me before.
But one day I met a guy
I said to myself, why not give it another try
Whenever you see his meaningful smile
It will make you think for awhile.
He is quite good-looking
For his eyes are very captivating
He has the perfect voice
And can be a composer's choice.
When he whispered to me, 'I loveyou'
I thought it all came true
But he disappeared right before my eyes
'Cause it was only a dream, a dream that was very nice.
Every night I think of you
'Cause I couldn't start my whole life anew
And I'm still a broken hearted
Oh, how could I mend it?
Say what age again? eleven! or maybe eleven and a half! I know, it sounds corny, that is the result of watching too much soaps! But I remember when I finished writing this poem, I was damn proud I was able to do a 9-paragraph one! Whew!
This will do for now. I don't want you have indigestion after reading those two. I promise it gets a little better - past one poem, "my little tree". Which I will reserve when we are all having a bad day. It's a sure picker-upper. It sent me laughing so hard I got a tummy ache after reading it. Okay, I won't tell anymore about it.
In the meantime, I will just amuse myself by reminiscing the poet who died a long time ago. Alas, her wit remains...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Advil and Me
I am beginning to hate winter. I used to love winter. My first winter storm embraced me the minute the plane landed in Winnipeg airport in 2002. Talk about blowing me off my feet, literally! (Now, if only guys would do that, eh?) But after a few seasons, winter is beginning to make a toll on me.
Does it have to do with where I am now?
Since I came to this four-season-extreme-weathered country, I accepted the fact that I will have my annual flu. You may notice there is some degree of ownership to that. I've learned to accept that I will have a flu visit every year. I am fine with that. Since it gives me some days off from work (ya, what a way to spend days off). Bed-ridden and all. Besides, it gives me some time to just watch old movies, sleep and sleep some more.
This year is different. I had my supposedly annual flu last summer (yes, believe it or not). But I had some bouts of symptom-like flu this winter. And for some reason I can't seem to get rid of it completely. Okay, before you say the F word (flu-shot), sorry, you can't make me get it. There's just no way, I would. (Reasons will be in another blog)
And then came my new bestfriend, Advil. Boy, oh boy, it brought me to my senses. And I mean, I can smell what I'm baking, taste what I cooked, and even see clearly what the hell I am chopping! Advil is like my knight in shining armor and with it, I can be whatever I want to be. Keeps me on the clock 24/7, always reminding me "it is time". I know this is the right one, I've tried and tested others, and even went with one that is a natural, no false pretense. But right now, my new bestfriend just stands out. Keeps me on my feet.
I just hope our friendship will just be this season. Frankly, I am not so fond of popping pills except for my regular supplements.
Does that sound contradicting? Uhmm, Nah...you're just imagining things.
Does it have to do with where I am now?
Since I came to this four-season-extreme-weathered country, I accepted the fact that I will have my annual flu. You may notice there is some degree of ownership to that. I've learned to accept that I will have a flu visit every year. I am fine with that. Since it gives me some days off from work (ya, what a way to spend days off). Bed-ridden and all. Besides, it gives me some time to just watch old movies, sleep and sleep some more.
This year is different. I had my supposedly annual flu last summer (yes, believe it or not). But I had some bouts of symptom-like flu this winter. And for some reason I can't seem to get rid of it completely. Okay, before you say the F word (flu-shot), sorry, you can't make me get it. There's just no way, I would. (Reasons will be in another blog)
And then came my new bestfriend, Advil. Boy, oh boy, it brought me to my senses. And I mean, I can smell what I'm baking, taste what I cooked, and even see clearly what the hell I am chopping! Advil is like my knight in shining armor and with it, I can be whatever I want to be. Keeps me on the clock 24/7, always reminding me "it is time". I know this is the right one, I've tried and tested others, and even went with one that is a natural, no false pretense. But right now, my new bestfriend just stands out. Keeps me on my feet.
I just hope our friendship will just be this season. Frankly, I am not so fond of popping pills except for my regular supplements.
Does that sound contradicting? Uhmm, Nah...you're just imagining things.
Friday, January 11, 2008
See, I remember...
It's January 11th and my lola's birthday. I miss her terribly.
I feel sad since this is the only picture I have of her. I wish I grabbed more pictures from my mom before. Or even had more pictures with my dear lola. Let me tell you about this picture, this was her 79th birthday in 1998. So, if I got it right, she would have been 89 this year.
My grandmother, oh, there are so many words to describe her - she's a workaholic, a martyr, loves to play bingo, hates to be around unruly kids, first impression would be she's a cranky old woman - but hey, she has the right to be and I know how to mellow things with her.
I remember the first time we talked, it was a family outing and I couldn't swim having my monthly visitor that time ( I think I was about 16 or 17). I never really talked to my lola before that, so it was a little awkward. She asked me if I remember when she used to babysit me and my siblings when my parents would go out. Of course I remember. During nap time, she's the one asleep while we'll be the ones watching her. I think we tire her out easy. Ha!
When I lived with them for awhile ('coz my office was within walking distance from their house), we became closer. We'd have our evening chats and watch late night old movies (b&w) in her 5' tv. Mind you, one time I asked her why are we watching these movies in such a small screen when she has a big tv - and she would just tell me that it's more fun watching it on her own tv (hint: the bigger one is my grandfather's). Nevertheless, I learned to love old black and white movies.
One night, during our evening chats, my lola asked me if I will remember her even when she's gone. Since she knows our family doesn't make the annual visit to cemeteries (like most filipinos). I assured her that I will never forget her. And I never did. I haven't forgotten how she lit up when she saw me again after she came back from the states. I haven't forgotten how she secretly gave me a couple of small scarves (with 101 dalmatians design); how she beamed whenever I go with her to play bingo (even though we lost most times). And how she loved watching me while I eat dinner (coming from a very tiring work day - sorry I can't elaborate on that). And even how she would tell off my cousin from using the phone just because I need to use it.
My lola became my bestfriend in the family. I never thought I would have such a connection with her. She used to tell me I don't need a boyfriend or anybody, because she is always there.Funny thing to hear from your grandmother. Like you never really grew up.
I miss you, 'la. Whenever I watch "beaches" (our favorite movie), it never fails to make me cry. And even in writing or talking about you, it brings tears rolling down in buckets.
I know you lived a full colorful life and I am grateful I had the privilege to know you and love you.
I will forever remember, 'la.
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